Anecdotes of Alexis and Axille!
by Darkness on the Horizon Leader
Summary: Yup...another one-shot series about my two OCs, Axille and Alexis. Warning: humor of all sorts  even some to make you just groan . The girls create havoc with their clashing personalities, and everyone else suffers too! Chaps will be short. -On Hiatus
1. Snow and Paranoia Just Don't Mix

**Yup, just wasting time at the computer again. I write a lot of little stories that I never originally INTEND to put online...then they somehow end up on line.**

**Basically, I'm cleaning out my hard drive of these stories and making the internet pay with their stupidity x3.**

**This one's about my first OC, Alexis. She never saw snow before, and well...she's crazy _and_ paranoid.**

**If you lose a few brain cells and/or IQ points from reading this...I DIDN'T STEAL THEM! Okay, I did. But hey, who needs sanity? (Y'know, some of the time.)**

**Disclaimer: I only own Alexis and her paranoia.**

**Warnings: Implied rascist comment (I don't support that at all, I was bashing it here.) Craziness, nonsensicality, and Xemnas going (in his mind) "What the heck was that?"**

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><p>"Um...what is this?"<p>

Axel, Roxas, and Vexen stopped and stared. Alexis had stopped dead when they departed from the dark corridor on their mission that day. She was staring suspiciously at the snow on the ground—as if it would come to life and eat her shoes off.

"It's snow." Axel said. He twitched as a flake landed on his nose and melted, "Yeah, I don't like it either."

"Snow..? Why is it so cold? Why is it WHITE? Some kind of joke with the universe?" Alexis demanded.

"Um...no?" Roxas said, staring at her.

"Snow is frozen rain, Alexis, nothing more." Vexen explained.

"What makes it frozen? If it's frozen wouldn't it be harder?" Alexis asked, still suspicious.

"Cold air makes it frozen and it's not frozen solid. Rain falls far too fast to be frozen solid." Vexen answered.

Alexis twitched as a snowflake landed on her head. She gave a shout, summoned her Keyblade, and shot a ball of fire at the sky.

"_And that's what I think about you, frozen rain!"_ she screamed. What she only gained from this, however, was a flake of snow falling right into her throat. She choked and rolled on the ground in an overly-dramatic way, "IT'S STRANGLING ME! IT'S KILLING ME! HEEEEELP!"

"...I forgot. Alexis, you didn't grow up with snow in Hollow Bastion did you?" Axel smiled.

"No, we didn't have this white devil rain in Hollow Bastion. And I _know _we never had it in the World That Never Was." Alexis answered, blowing up a white patch of snow on the ground, as it was growing too high for her liking.

"HOLY SHIT IT'S MULTIPLYING!" she screamed as the snow continued to make clumps of itself, "IT'S GONNA MURDER US!"

"It's snow! It can't murder anything!" Vexen exclaimed. He knew the girl was somewhat nuts—but not _this_ nuts.

"Wrong! Look it keeps falling on your head! What does it do, seep through your scalp and take over your brain?" Alexis countered, yanking her hood up so fast she almost hurt herself.

"No, it melts." Roxas said. Evidently, this was the wrong thing to say.

"It melts? I was right! It melts into your head and makes you go loony!" shouted Alexis.

Axel doubled over in laughter, so much upset over simple snow.

"I think you're already there, Lexi." he snickered. He jumped back when Alexis pointed her Keyblade at him.

"Hold still, there's a snowflake on your jacket." she said quietly. She held her Keyblade tense, waiting for the offender to make a move. It wasn't a snowflake.

"That's not a snowflake, it's a snow _flea_." Vexen sighed. They weren't going to finish their mission that day. This sent Alexis over the edge.

"SNOW _FLEA_? Snow has _fleas?_ _EW_! Hold still, Ax, I got it!" Alexis screamed. Heat began forming at the tip of her Keyblade and Axel's eyes widened, reaching a state of panic.

"No, Alexis, wait—!"

He was interrupted by the blistering hot ball of Firaga that threw him to the floor. The explosion spread out in a circle, singeing everything and everyone within a six-foot radius. Roxas and Vexen shouted in pain and jumped into the unburned snow to put it all out. Alexis sighed, watching them.

"Great, now I need to give _you _two Firaga Snow-Flea baths. Hold still..." she murmured, taking careful aim.

In the Castle That Never Was, Xemnas could have sworn he heard two pained screams from somewhere far, far away.

And that is why Alexis never goes to snowy areas anymore—unless it's to get back at someone annoying.

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><p><strong>...I don't know. I'm stuck for ideas on my other stories that I KNOW I should be working on and my computer is just crammed with these stupid stories. I needed someplace to put them xD.<strong>

**Hate it, love it? Leave a review!**

**-Az.**


	2. This Is Why We Don't Give Kids Coffee

**Hiya! Azariosiza again, goofing off some more. xD. As I said in the description (which I HOPE you read) all of these chapters are going to be very, very short. I'm mostly writing these (or digging them out of documents) to blow off steam and to get out the ideas I can't use in any of my OTHER stories.**

**Okay...this one's about what happens when little, mild-mannered Axille is given coffee. Unholy demon of annoyance x3 poor Axel getting annoyed...Oh well.**

**Neat little thing about Axille's character? She speaks English and Italian fluently as well French rather well. (She's of French-Italian descent****, that's why, though Italian is the one that shows the most.) And, thanks to the Organization's**** influence , she's learning a little bit of Japanese, mostly their Japanese names, though LOL.**

**Alright, enough joking around (ironic, much?) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own KH, or the Family Guy reference. Only Alexis and Axille.**

**Warning: Extreme annoyance from a nine-year-old girl on coffee. Poor Axel.**

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><p>"AXEL AXEL AXEL AXEL AXEL AXEL AXEL AXEL AXEL AXEL. GUESS WHAT, GUESS WHAT?"<p>

Axel twitched and kept walking. Axille had been following him around for four hours straight, hyper on _something_, and wouldn't leave him alone.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" the fire-wielder shouted, taking off at a run. Axille just ran after him, still screaming, "AXEL, AXEL I GOTS SOMETHIN' TO SHOWS YA!"

They ran into the Grey Area, which was currently occupied by Xigbar, Zexion, Demyx, Roxas, and Alexis.

Axel ran around the room, ignoring the stares of the others in the room, as he was relentlessly pursued by the hyper mimic.

"IT'S REALLLLLLLLY COOL!" Axille insisted. Axel refused to listen and flung himself onto one of the couches. Axille sat herself down on his lap and began poking him, still persistent no matter how many times he tried pushing her off.

"Axel. Axel. Axel. Axel. Axel. Axel. Ax. Ax. Ax. Ax. Ax. Ax. Number VIII. Number VIII. Number VIII. Number VIII. Number VIII." she continued, still poking him. Axel sighed and leaned back, trying to block her out. This only succeeded in making her get even louder until she was almost shrieking.

"AXEL! AXEL! AXEL! AXEL! AX! AX! AX! AX!"

He was getting annoyed now, and opened one eye to stare coldly at the child—this didn't faze her one bit. She carried on shouting, now jabbing his side with a finger.

"AX! AX! AX! AX! NUMBER VIII! NUMBER VIII! NUMBER VIII!"

He was getting really annoyed now. He tried covering his ears but the shrieking just broke through. His eye started twitching as she kept on going.

"AKUSERU! AKUSERU! AKUSERU! AKU! AKU! AKU!"

Axel finally snapped.

"WHAT?" he screamed.

Axille stopped, smiled angelically at him, and said, "Hi." She then ran out of the room, giggling like mad, leaving Axel with twitching eyes and an I'm-Gonna-Kill-Her expression.

"What. Sugar. Did you give her?" he asked numbers XV, IX and XIII. They were staring after their little friend too, thoroughly weirded out.

"Um...caffeinated coffee?" Alexis said, smiling coyly.

"WHAT?"

"No more coffee for the kid?" Xigbar suggested.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!" Axille's voice carried through the halls with surprising volume.

"WOULD YOU GET OUT OF MY ROOM?" Xaldin's enraged voice could be heard from two floors down.

"Yeah. No more coffee." Axel said.

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><p><strong>Lol, I love Axille so much 3<strong>

**Sorry for the shortness, but I'm only writing these to kill time and ideas. And testing out my comedy skills (my friends say I have no sense of humor :P)**

**Dun really know when the next chapter'll be up. Ciao!**

**-Az.**


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